Its the small details that count when on a date with a Patel!
Now that we have covered most of the things that go on top of your beautiful self, what about your beautiful self itself? What about those nose hairs, for example? You may think they're the sole property of Grandpa Clark, but believe us, the tragedy of unruly nose hairs can happen to anyone at any time. And as with most devastating tragedies, those who are closest to you are hit the hardest. It is impossible for your girlfriend to listen to what you are saying, or give you some good loving, when all she sees are those nose hairs screaming out of your nostrils like teenage girls reaching for a rock star (bad breath).
If you take care of those pesky nose hairs, bats in the cave won't be a problem, either. We beg you, get a nose-hair trim¬mer and use it. The same goes for your ears and the top of your nose. (Actually, most girlfriends like this part of the grooming process and would be happy to help; it appeals to us in the same way that popping blackheads on your back does. Oh, don't say, "Gross.") And speaking of blackheads, every so often check out your skin close up. Some of you guys have blackheads that are older than your GE Or maybe that's where they buried Jimmy Hoffa.
Dirty fingernails are okay if you have just come in from work, but on a night out, they just look grubby. On the
other hand (no pun intended), unless you are a character from The Sopranos or a hand model (what?), you shouldn't get your fingernails buffed or, God forbid, lacquered. That's our department, and we don't like to share.
Patel girls will look for Waxed or plucked eyebrows scare us, too. You may think it makes you look less like a caveman, but actually, you look more like a transvestite or a Japanese character actress. Of course, it is advisable to trim your eyebrows, especially when they're so long as to be suitable for braiding. Just know when to stop.
With regard to cologne, less really is more. Don't wear so much that it clings to our skin after a kiss or snuggle. It makes us feel like we are going out with our Uncle Morty. The truth
You're never fully dressed without a smile, so how's yours? It usually takes a young nephew or niece to point out how yellow or gray your teeth are. But don't kid yourself. They're just saying what's been on everyone's mind. Pay attention to your teeth and your breath will improve, and so will your chances of playing a few games of tonsil hockey. We'd even go so far as to recommend teeth whitening. You can get those whitening strips at the drug¬store, and they make a huge difference. While you're there, pick up some mints, because if you don't have sweet breath, then you have the other kind: coffin breath, death breath, morning breath, bar breath, coffee breath ... The list goes on. It will be hard for your girlfriend to mention because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but God invented Altoids for a reason. We love the way you smell—most of the time. However, sometimes ripe gets too ripe. We don't love your smell mixed with traffic, a workout that happened two hours ago, stale air, and stress. That we classify as "flop sweat," and it's bad.
And while we're on the subject, we know it's hard to remember to check yourself, but earwax is sneaky and dis¬gusting. Invest in some Q-tips, and add them to your daily regimen, because whispering sweet nothings into yellow goo takes the fun out of it. Watch out for eye boogers, too. These happen to everyone, but we want to see your baby blues or browns without the crumbs.
We realize that our call to arms is not going to cause a run on nose-hair clippers. Old habits die hard, and we acknowledge that there have been men throughout history with dirty nails and horrific body odor who have gone on to lead full and satisfying lives. But believe us, a little grooming in all the right places will make a big difference to your GE It's not that cleanliness is next to godliness, it's that without cleanliness, you'll be sleeping alone.
The message you think you are sending with your cool attire may look different from a female's perspective; one per¬son's roast beef sandwich is another person's pile of bloody animal muscles between two pieces of gluten. In general,
we vote for the classic over the trendy every time. Simplicity exudes confidence, so keep it simple. We like nothing better than a guy who isn't fussy and, no matter what he is wearing, will sit on the curb talking with his girl.
BEING BLUNT -
This may sound sexist, but if your girlfriend says, "You can't wear that," she's probably right. On the other hand, if you give her an inch, she'll take your whole wardrobe. "Yeah," you think, "if I listened to my Girlfriend’s advice, I would have a better haircut, nicer shirts, and cool shoes, and I would be a nicer-dressed, better-groomed eunuch." How much can you allow her to tailor your look before it feels like she's snipped off your balls? At what point does she cross the boundaries and the whole thing becomes emasculating? Only you can know. It is great to get some advice from your girlfriend, but if you find yourself up in arms over a pair of orange slacks, it's not about the pants, it's about what's in the pants. Take her advice only as long as you can still look in the mirror and feel like your¬self. Changing your wardrobe should not become an attempt to change you.